5 Ways I Keep Myself Away from Backbiters.

Backbiting is one of the dark secrets at the workplace. Everyone encounters the backstabbers and the backbiters unless you are not one of them. I was working as an executive in a company, and after a year's hard work, I got promoted to a manager position. While, I was still celebrating, and receiving best wishes from my colleagues; my immediate boss called me to his cabin. 

We sat to discuss some business leads, and as we were winding up our conversation, he informed me about a team member complaining that I was not treating her well and many other things. I sat in front of my boss shocked. I supported her throughout. We were good friends. We went for lunch together every day. My boss knew what I was thinking. He understood more than shocked I was disappointed. I was feeling hurt and of-course betrayed by this act of hers.

My boss explained to me that this was a challenge to be faced and learning; how to deal with such situations. He further added that there are backbiters, but handling them will enhance my leadership skills. He further added that if I wished he could transfer her to another department, but then that was not the solution.

Jealousy is the main reasons for backbiting many times. Though I had the tough time with the backbiters then, today I have managed myself to keep away from them.

Below are 5 ways that help me deal with the backbiters. 

1) Know where to draw the line:

Being friendly with your colleagues is important. However, you should understand where to draw the professional line. Do not share too many personal details with everyone. Sharing too much information with others could be harmful. Too much talking can lead others to gossip about you.

2) Do not listen to them:

I don't mean to say that you socially boycott yourself. However, understand that a person who will talk behind others back can do the same behind yours as well. It may be difficult to control the backbiter, but you can always choose not to entertain them. Decide what you want to listen and what not. If you don't show interest, the other person will stop talking about others with you.

3) Control your Reaction:

Do not react to the person backbiting. If a person comes to you and tells that someone spoke regarding you, do not revert to him/her. Stay calm and control yourself. Find out the truth before getting upset about it. Have you heard about the Chinese Whisper game? Like the game it can happen that the person said something else but, it could be possible that it came to you in the wrong way. By, playing with the words a person can create confusion between two people. Before reacting to the loose talks, directly speak to the person.

4) Training:

It can play a major role in dealing with the problem of the backbiting at the workplace. Working as a team and having a stress free environment is very important for a successful organization. The continuous interactions with staff are necessary to encounter the problem of the backbiting. We all need to understand and respect the privacy of others.

5) Take Actions:

If you find the person who constantly is a guilty of backbiting about the others find the way to discuss the issue. As mentioned earlier training could be a tool if properly used can help you end this issue. Have company's policy regarding backbiting in place and make sure that every staff understands it well. If still the individual continues the same behavior, take appropriate action against him/her. 

Remember, backbiting is a negative practice not only at work but in personal life too.  

Managing the Time That's Ticking Away.

Time Management in simple language is Managing the time Efficiently.  Organizing oneself and efficiency is not only important professionally but also equally important in personal life too. Time Management will have many positive effects on an individual's life. A person who manages time can manage stress well. An individual with poor time management can feel negative effect not only on his/her professional but in personal life too. A case study on an employee working as Customer Relationship Manager in a multinational company can help us understand time management. 

X is working as Customer Relation Manager in XYZ company. He received an email from his boss stating that he needs to send a Powerpoint presentation within two days. X relaxed as he had two days to send the presentation. The first day was normal for him it was not a hectic schedule. Though, he did not have much work he decided to work on the presentation next day. The next morning when he reached the office he saw a reminder email from his boss, reminding that the deadline to send presentation was by 1900 hrs. X thought to himself that he had lots of time and would finish it post lunch. After finishing his lunch, he came back to his desk to prepare the presentation. As he opened the blank template a colleague came and reminded him. Mr D, an important client was waiting for him in the meeting room. He forgot about it completely. X was confident that he will finish his meeting in half an hour and still he will have ample of time to finish his presentation.

The meeting was taking longer than what X expected. Now, he started feeling tensed. Even the client realized that he was not fully attentive. Finally, the meeting ended. X rushed back to his desk. As he checked his mobile, he saw a message from his wife.

"Dear, we are ready and, will reach Sam's café in one hour and, as decided we will go to the doctor for Z's vaccination."

X completely forgot that today was his son's vaccination. He could not tell his wife that he cannot come because she had told him about vaccination three days earlier and last time also he missed the visit to the doctor with his son. Thus, he made a promise to his wife that he will surely be there with them. He started working on the Powerpoint and finished it as soon as he could.

As he hit the send button on his email, he noticed that he was half an hour late for his son's vaccination. He looked at his mobile there were twenty-one missed calls. He forgot to put mobile in ringer mode after the meeting. He got so engrossed in preparing the presentation that he did not realize that he got late for his son's vaccination. He had sent his presentation before the deadline but, he knew that it could have been better if he had more time with him. He called up his wife but, she did not pick up. As he rushed to the hospital, the nurse told that his wife left ten minutes back. 

In above case, X wasted his first day and, on the second day as well he kept postponing his task thinking, he had lots of time. He did not organize nor did he prepare himself for his day. He completely forgot about the appointment and vaccination. 

Even when meeting the client he felt stressed about not preparing the presentation that he did not give his  100% to his client. Also, he broke his promise of being there with his family.  

X could have handled the situation better, but due to poor time management, he messed it up. 

Let us discuss what Mr X did:

• He wasted time on the first day.
• He did not organize nor prepare himself. He could have had more time to prepare his presentation if he could have planned well.
• He could have avoided the increase in his stress level had he prioritized the tasks.
• He did not plan nor prepare on the second day as well. Therefore, he forgot about his appointments.
• He could have shown his capabilities by preparing an excellent presentation.
• He could have attended the client better.
• He was not able to give time to his family even after promising.
• He could have borrowed more time for himself if he managed his activities well. He could have prepared a better presentation and be there with his family too.
• Also sending such incomplete presentation will harm his reputation too.

 Tips to Remember

• Planning is important, however, flexibility is also an essential element in managing the time well. Prioritizing wisely is the key.
• Define your goals as a long-term goal, intermediate goals and short-term goals.
• Similarly rank as Highest priority, Moderate and Lowest.
• Overcome distractions.
• Be realistic while setting up goals and deciding priorities
• Poor time management is lack of self-discipline.
• Attempting too many tasks can also waste time.
• Not being organized could be another cause of poor time management. 
• There is the time when you have to say "No" based on priorities. You cannot be everywhere doing everything.
• Avoid postponing your tasks as it can create workload later.   

Manage Time well as it is Ticking Away. 

Thank you for reading. Share your thoughts too by commenting in the comment box and share this article too.    

          

Ultimate Guide for Those Attending their First Interview

Interviews can be nerve-racking especially the first one. Getting butterflies in the stomach, those weird dreams about the interview and sleepless nights are common. My first interview was for Jet Airways and I still remember dreaming about the interview each night and yes, they were not the good ones of course. Those were the real nightmares. A night before the interview I, dreamt of attending the interview without wearing shoes. 

Here’s an ultimate guide for those attending their first interview:

Firstly, let us answer the question that comes to mind when going for an interview.

What should I wear?

Though, it is important to look presentable in an interview however an interviewer is not going to select or reject you based on what you wore. The presentation does matter, however, don’t over think. Wear formal neat and well-ironed business attire, neatly combed hair, clean socks, polished shoes and smell good.

Keep it Simple, Yet Professional. 

During my first interview, I concentrated so hard on what to wear that I spent half of my time shopping and other half matching the accessories with it.  I did not concentrate well on the most important part of the interview preparations. 

That was Being Prepared.

Yes! Preparation plays a major role in a successful interview. It is the most important factors. Preparing an introduction and researching about the company and the industry is equally important. Even though you are a fresher but basic knowledge is a must when appearing for an interview. Knowing about the organization and industry are an added value. Not only this, read the job posting carefully. Most of the interview answers may be hidden there. Read the job description and skills required and include them in your answers smartly. This can help you answer the interviewer that why should he hire you. Practice and prepare yourself. 

Resume

Since it is your first job interview, do not over with your resume. Remember there are certain dos and don’ts for a resume to look professional.

• Don’t use fancy fonts.
• Font size should be considered.
• Don’t use bright colors for highlighting.
• Choose your resume layout carefully.
• Updated and correct information should be mentioned in the resume.

Few, suggestions for fonts would be Arial, Times Roman, Georgia, Calibri and preferable font size is fourteen for the headline and twelve for the description. Avoid Capitalization and use of the bold letter. Apart from above, you need to understand the different types of resume. Though, a resume can be designed in various styles. However, there are 3 types of formats for the resume.

• Chronological Resume
• Combination Resume
• Functional Resume

Chronological Resume is for those who have a strong work history. This may not be ideal for newcomers.

Functional Resume focuses on skills more than experience. This type of format is for those candidates who have less experience, frequent job changes or gap in the career.

Combination Resume It is a combination of Chronological Resume and Functional. In this skills are lighted at the top and work history below. Though work history is not the highlight of the Resume.

Below are the samples of the three types:

Sample 1: Chronological Resume

Sample 2: Functional Resume

Please note these are only the samples to explain the types of Resume. The writing style in actual will differ.

Sample 3 : Combination Resume

 Tips to Remember

• Keep it Simple
• Be Honest
• Don’t include irrelevant details
• Keep it Organized
• Plan and write
• If you add you your photo ( I recommend adding it), make sure that it is passport size in formal uniform with the proper background.
• Check spelling mistakes
• Don’t include something you don’t know. Example many times I have noticed that candidates add reading as their hobby and when asked which was the last book they read? They go blank.
• When carrying a hard copy of resume along with you for an interview remember it should be printed on clean and crisp paper filed properly.

Body Language

• At no time display poor body language in an interview. Though body language is a vast topic, we will here discuss the basic yet important points related to it. 

• A smile is very important. Know the right amount of smile. A smile is important but you should not fake it.

• Maintain your standing posture.

• Maintain right sitting posture even while waiting for your turn in the waiting area.

• Be attentive

• Know when to smile

• If your handshake with the interviewer make sure that it is strong and firm one.

• Maintain right amount of eye contact. Don't stare.

• Feeling nervous in an interview is normal but do not let it show on your face. Yes! Your body language can depict that you are feeling nervous. Some examples are shaking your hand, fidgeting with an object or pen.

Know What You Say

I am going to break this sub-heading into few situations or questions.

How to handle a situation when you don't know an answer?

It happens many times that we go well prepared for an interview but the interviewer puts on a question for which the answer is not known to us. What to do in such situation? Wait, don't panic. An interviewer put you through different situations to understand you and it is perfectly fine to not to know something. If you come across a situation where you don't know answer firstly, don't panic, stay calm.  Do not react immediately and don't let it show on your face. Maintain the calm and confident composure. Buy sometime from the interviewer by asking clarification on the question. Maybe you know the answer but you might not have understood the question correctly. Still, if you don't know the answer accept it in a smart way by saying something like, " I am unaware about it, however, can I take some time to consider it and get back to you."

Remember to research on it later and if you meet the interviewer again or maybe talk to him include the answer in your conversation.

How do I answer a negative question? 

Some examples of negative questions are:

What is your biggest weakness?

What makes you angry?

I am not saying you lie about it but answer smartly. Do not talk negative nor talk negatively about someone. I would never hire a backbiter. 

How much should I talk? 

Being enthusiastic is good but too much talking can backfire. same way talking too less won't help either.

Take Follow Up

Don't wait for the interviewer to get back to you. Don't hesitate to write an email or call to take follow up

3 Quick Tips to apply online to get Right Job

I work as a Business Consultant with a recruitment firm. Working on different hiring assignments, I come across many candidate profiles. There are different methods that I, use for hiring and one of them is a job posting online on job portals. That is one of the most common ways of a candidate hiring. There are many online job portals available along with social media. Naukri.com, Monster.com, Shine.com, and LinkedIn are the most common ones to name. Even the website of the organizations has career page. However still many times candidates struggle to get a job at the right place, and we as recruiters face difficulty in finding the right candidate.

Below are few tips for candidates who want to apply online:

1) Updation of Profile: 

Keep your profile updated. Do not apply with a profile that is not updated. By, the updated profile I mean current designation, current company, contact number and email id. All of these should be updated.

2) Read: 

Just don't hit the apply option without reading. Read the job posting. First, important thing is to know what you are applying for. I mean if you are a software engineer, you can't apply for a general manager at a hotel. As a recruiter, I have encountered this and have no other option but to write a rejection mail. Next is the location. Ask yourself, am I ready to relocate? If the answer is yes, move to next step. Read the job description well and understand what employer is looking for. Read the roles and responsibility too. Understand the skill requirement. Find out what are the other requirements, that are required by the recruiter.       

3) Consider these Factors too:  

Experience:

Read what experience recruiter is looking for. Below are two examples for you to consider:

Case 1: An employer posted a vacancy for a certain position. Candidate finds that it is matching his profile. He goes through the job posting and finds out that everything seems to fall into place but then finds out that experience required is five years but the candidate's total experience is four years. What should a candidate do? My advice is to go ahead and apply.
Case 2: A candidate exploring online jog portals finds out job posting. He has just passed out his college and is looking to start his career. He reads the job posting and finds out that employer is seeking a professional with an experience of 10-15 years. He is a fresher but he is excited about the salary package. The Candidate decides to apply. Do you think he will get an interview call?    

Salary: 

Many recruiters like me are specific when posting jobs. I mention the salary range. However, some prefer not to disclose. In that case, you could apply and discuss it later with the employer. But if you are looking for salary hike as one of your main priorities than consider below while applying. Let us consider two examples again.

Case 1: An employer posted a vacancy where the salary range has been specified as 25,000 - 30,000 INR but, you want something between 32,000 - 35,000 INR. What will you do? Apply

An employer will not lose the good employee. If the candidate stands out in the interview, the employer will not let you go. 

Case 2: A candidate looking for salary hike. He is getting 40,000 INR. There could be many possible reasons for which a candidate may be looking for a salary hike and new job. But would he apply for job posting which offers the salary ranging between 25,000 to 30,000 INR?

I know that job hunting can really be a tiring and tough phase of one's life. But it is about your career and it is very important to choose wisely. Don't simply click to apply for the job.

I hope you find the article interesting and helpful. Please do leave your comments in the comment box.

       

  

When my Domestic Help came across Padman Challenge.

I log in to my twitter account and read the tweets everyday. I was so engrossed looking at the Padman challenge that I did not realize that my domestic help walked-in.  Suddenly I heard her scream, "Didi, yeh kya hai." (What is this?). I jumped off my chair. Her voice had so much panic that I got scared that there was something threatening my life. I looked at her confused and she was looking horrified and was starring at laptop screen. I asked her why did she shout so loudly. She asked me again, "ooh, didi yeh kya hai." (What is this). I looked at the screen and replied that she is Deepika Padukone. She looked at me and said, " iske haath mein kya hai." (What is there in her hand) I replied," It's a Pad, why what is wrong with that."  Her horrified look shifted from Deepika Padukone to me. She giggled, "aise." (Like this)  and ran to kitchen. I was confused but soon understood. I called her back with a cup of coffee and told her to sit by my side and showed her few more tweets on Padman Challenge. Also told her about the movie and told her the story of Arunachalam Muruganantham. We spoke about menstruation for more than half an hour.
She has left and I still feel guilty. The guilt is not because I bleed but because I was embarrassed about it. Not only she even we are responsible for Period being treated as a Taboo. Because, we decided not to ask questions. Why don't we call menstruation by it's name? We have our own code words for it. Initial years were so difficult not because I used to bleed but because it became a mental tension. Looking at the dates because some family function was coming soon. Would I be able to attend it. Not because I was sick.
Hope Pad Man brings the much needed change. But before changing the mentality of others we girls need to stop taking it as an embarrassment. It is a natural phenomenon and cleanliness is everyone's right.  
   

Being Parent is Not About Being Totalitarian, Changing My Approach. Are You Going to Change?

I write blogs about career, training and development. I don't only write but also love to learn and then share what I learn by writing Blogs. However, today I learned the most important lesson of my life. My today's teacher is 5 years old girl and I am sharing it as that's the mistake we make frequently.

My 3 years and 8 months girl loves going to school. Everyday she comes at 1210 hrs as her school is five minutes drive from home. Today also my whimsy girl enthusiastically entered the gate. As everyday she narrated her entire 3 hours spent in school in ten minutes. As we were about to enter a very good friend of mine came along with her five years old daughter. Made them comfortable and I went to kitchen, while I was still there my daughter kept her bag at the place, opened her shoes, kept her socks in laundry bag. Then she took out her lunch box and placed it in the kitchen sink. She was doing it all right and my friend was observing her closely. I entered the room with glass of milk for children and coffee for us. As I sat my friend pointed out at her daughter, "Look she is only 3 and how responsible she is and you are five and still don't keep your shoes properly." Little girl did not know how to react, she choose to keep quiet but starred at my daughter and she was the cause of  this embarrassment of hers. I choose to change the topic.We were still talking when my friends daughter interrupted to tell what happened at her school. My friend told her to keep quiet and drink milk.
My daughter came and two girls planned to play with doll house. My daughter finished her milk and kept the cup at the kitchen.

My friends daughter was still drinking it and she took her glass and started playing with my daughter. Two girls became so involved with the doll house that by mistake milk got spill over the carpet. Before I could say anything my friend got up and slapped her and shouted at her, " Look how the little girl drank whole milk and you are so useless, you have spoiled whole carpet." and then she slapped her again. I interrupted, " Please don't hit her even I have two small kids at home and they keep spilling something or the other." We ate lunch and she left.
My daughter asked for water and little water got spilled out. My son who was standing next to us slapped my daughter pointing out at the spilled water. My son is two and half years old. My daughter's eyes were teary. I took my daughter and son in my arms. Still confused how to explain my two and half that hitting is not the solution.
As I am writing now my daughter is peacefully sleeping and son is sitting by her side turning the pages of his story book. I am feeling bad because thats what even I do sometimes. Even I am guilty of that one tight slap way of handling kids. Not only this I realized many things that as parents we want our kids to grow up our way. Sometimes killing their creativity.   
Comparison is the biggest mistake that we commit. Majority of us do it. We threaten our kids and sometimes fill their heart with fear too.
Today I have learned my lesson and I am definitely changing my approach. Though it might take sometime for me to change but I will change         

When New Boss Joins! (Case Study)

In my career, I have worked with some companies and I was fortunate enough to work with some great people. In my career I have learned a lot from my team and my seniors. My career had been great so far because of them. I still cherish my memories with the team I had worked in past and let me give special mention to the team when I was working in Ooty(India). They were great and I still miss them. Each one of them hold special place in my memories. Though there were only few experiences in my career where I had tough time when new boss joined in but I remember few incidents where first few months were really hard. Sharing few experiences below:

1) Job Insecurity:

That happens with many of us when a new boss joins in. However, there are time when job insecurity builds up, not because I am not capable but because my new boss decides it on the first day of his joining and what was worse that he decided it because I was already working there and maybe he did not know me. I say that because after three months I was a star employee for the same boss. Without naming anyone or mentioning company name let me share a real life experience. I was working for a company and was about to complete my one year. Appraisals were approaching and there was a sudden change at higher level in management. A new area manager joined and all department heads were supposed to meet him along with the General Manager. So, as I entered the room my General Manager introduced me and I was expecting him to ask some business related questions. But to my surprise he did not ask any question neither did he directly speak to me. He was talking to the General Manager and I was still sitting there as he started discussing how he would like to hire a new person to head the department. I still remember that day, he was still talking and my entire one year's hard work with that organization flashed in front of me and let me not lie to you, I was feeling terrible and also started considering the possibility of finding new job. However, after 15 days of this incident I received my promotion letter in the same company.

2) Change:

How many of you have experienced it when your new manager who just joined is too excited to change almost everything. Definitely new boss means an opportunity to learn new things but how difficult it becomes when he/she starts finding fault in everything. Even the way you tie your hair. Giving feedback to employee is an important process so understanding your teams becomes important. It becomes very difficult when new boss try to change everything right away. I love to learn new things, we all do but that has to be done in a constructive manner. As a team player getting support is very important therefore, before implementing changes it is very important to build right relationship. I was working in a company where a new boss joined in and we were following a standard operating procedure, he observed it on the day one and told staff not to follow it rather do it other way. Though it was a great suggestion but some of the staffs were not comfortable rather than it being discussed it with them or explaining the motive and pros, they were pushed into it. Even once we experienced when our new boss introduced a practice which was not better than current one and when we tried to explain him our concerns, he felt that we were arguing and not co-operating.

3) I know it all attitude: 

I is very difficult to adjust with a boss who pretends to know it all. Team is an integral part of an organization. Listening to your subordinates is equally. No one can run the show alone. Yes! As an subordinate it is very important to respect the new manager because there are some skills that qualifies with as Manager. But, sometimes the manager goes wrong where he/she starts displaying I know it all attitude. There are times when a subordinate can come up with a constructive so a manager needs to take time to understand the new team and not lose a good employee. 

4) Previous Organization:

The first experience that I shared was about building job insecurity in employee, this one is somewhat similar but I wanted to share this one separately as it talks about building trust in the team. So I am sharing it here under sub-heading as Previous Organization. As I will conclude this experience you will understand why I named it as "Previous Organization". As I can recall, it was the third day of my new boss with us. We were sorting some documents with him in his Cabin when his phone rang and it was his subordinate from previous organization. I stood up to leave his cabin but he signaled me to sit down and told to continue working. I tried hard not listen but he was taking at a loud tone as if he wanted us to listen the conversation. He even made us realize that how badly his previous company subordinates were missing him and then suddenly he replied in a very proud tone," Wait for some time I will definitely call you. Let me create a position for you. "Same day we were having lunch when he came and pointed out that department seems to be over-staffed, the number needs to be reduced. I don't want to further add anything to this. It is great to share you previous organization experience but at the cost of demotivating your current team. ???

5) Over Friendly Staff:

Over friendly boss can kill the professional environment at workplace. The reason could be anything. The balance at work is very important. I remember one of my boss who was friendly with everyone but knew where to draw the professional line and I remember working with over friendly boss who did not draw that professional line making things difficult for himself.

I have shared few real life experience however I would also like to mention that I was fortunate enough to work with true leaders who taught me a lot. They created an opportunity for me to learn and grow. There was one of my managers who actually taught me a lot about life too.     

    

     

 

How to fight back when life seems tough? (Blog)

There are times in life when everything seems to go wrong. It seems as if nothing is favoring our way. Whatever we do it happens to be wrong. All the prayers go unheard. Everything becomes so difficult that finding right path looks next to impossible. We all go through bad phase in our life. There are some incidents that break us. It shatters the faith, belief and leaves us negative, not knowing what to do. But my blog is not about the negativity. Let us all agree that situations in life differ. Some days go easy while others don't. The question is what to do when life seems tough?

 Do not give up, fight back because it is a perfect situation. Don't wait for right opportunity rather create it. I had mentioned many times in my earlier blogs and I will write here too," Life isn't fair." However, today I would like to add to it though life isn't fair but we all were born fighters. The above picture depicts our fear and it holds us back from being who we are.

Be thankful to your creator, both your mother and father and respect the hard-work, the have done for you. I have always believed that life has it's own way of taking best out of you and it's worth fighting for. Bad times in life is the best way to know who you are, what you are made of and most importantly what can you do.
Also I might had used the below phase in my earlier blogs too but I firmly believe that ,"You cannot be defeated, it is only that you gave up before winning." Know yourself well, your strengths and weaknesses. It is an tool important tool that can help you.
Don't waste your time in talking about others, hating others or degrading others. Life is too short for all this. Respect others and yourself too. Most important of all never loose hope. Miracles happen, they really do but as it is said fortune favors the brave. Don't wait for miracles to happen, keep trying and try till you succeed. Don't give up and live your life to fullest. Fulfill your dreams but before that dare to dream. The power of seeing dreams and fulfilling them lies in you.

 Throw the negativity out of your life. Don't be lazy and start celebrating the small moments in your life. Do not neglect your family. Make them your strength. Respect them because they love you, care for you. Spend time with them too. Listen to them and express your love towards them. Balance in life is very important. No matter how difficult situation you are facing in you life don't neglect your family. Tell them what you feel, listen to them, explain to them, understand them and you life will become much happier.
Life will put you through many tests. Success and failures are part of them. However, remember today's failures are those pillars on which you success story will be laid.
Don't Complain too much because you are a winner. You are alive and that's an opportunity to prove yourself, you have that opportunity to fight back. Learn from your mistakes and try again. Don't only take lessons from success but learn from your mistakes as well. Lessons that you learn today will definitely help you tomorrow.

Feel blessed and you will be blessed. Feel lucky and fortune will favor you. That's the strength of positive attitude. Don't let negativity overtake. The biggest positive thing that happened today to you is that you are alive today so, go ahead and express yourself. There should be no place for negativity, fear, jealousy and hatred etc. in your life. Don't hurt anyone's sentiments, don't put anyone down.
No matter what life is today but it always is and will be beautiful. Sometimes, we complain too much from life without realizing what all we have in our life. Sometimes, situation isn't bad but our expectations make it. We ignore what we have and run after what is not required. Wanting to have more and not respecting what we have is the root cause of many of our problems. Being selfish and not thinking about others make life difficult.  

 

To Be or Not To Be. That's matter of Choice. (Blog)

Yes! To be or not to be is the matter of choice. There are certain times in one's life when it seems difficult, in fact very difficult. That difficult situation is actually an opportunity which can either break you or make you.
Attitude is an individual's way to respond to any situation or rather it is a way of thinking about something. It can further be explained as an individual's feelings/emotions, behavior and beliefs. Knowledge, ego, adaptive, anger, self-esteem, confidence etc. constitute an individual's attitude.
No one is perfect, neither me nor you. There are strengths and weaknesses that we all possess and our strengths and weaknesses combine make our attitude. However, what is important is defining what Right Attitude is?
You may ask, what right Attitude is? How can one define it? How do I know if I have the right attitude? Should I ask people or should I ask myself?
Self-reasoning is an important skill to possess in order to develop Right Attitude.
Before asking world, ask yourself. And that brings me to a point where being opinionated is good but listening to others and understanding their perspective is equally important. Right Attitude is admitting your mistakes and correcting oneself. I cannot be right all the time and whenever I realize my mistake I admit it and learn the right thing. Learning something new from someone does not make me small.
Do not spend too much time listening to people because there are some who will show you the right path while others may not. So, what should you do? What can help you?

That's your Positive Attitude.

A person with positive attitude will find positives and learn from them. How to develop positive attitude is the question that might be coming to your mind. 

As my blog title suggest, it is a matter of choice: To be or not to be. I can give you many reasons why to be positive in life but after reading this blog I want you to find your own reason. If you cannot find many try to find at least one reason to stay positive. The reasons could be anything that motivates you. 

Before writing further about positive attitude, I want to write some points about life. We all should know and acknowledge that life is very precious and should not be taken for granted nor it should be wasted. Every new day bring an opportunity along with it. An opportunity for new learning. Learn from each moment of it. Learn from your mistakes/failures, success. Learn from them all. Do not ever stop learning.

Being mother is one of the biggest responsibilities that nature gives to all the mothers. Being mother is not about giving birth alone. The nine months and the pain that woman gets while delivering but it is about upbringing too. Your mother took responsibility of being a mother and took care of you. Why I say it is one of the biggest responsibilities is because a mother spends her time taking care of her child and one mistake can cost a lot. Therefore, you are her hard-work and taking care of her hard-work is your responsibility.

Here I gave you one reason to love your mother and yourself and choosing positive attitude.

Donkey is considered a symbol of being useless, good for nothing and ugly. We ignore the fact that it is one of the most hardworking and loyal animals. When we are facing difficulties in our life we react immediately and sometimes end up regretting later. What we basically do is we act then stop and think. Let us look at the picture below:

How much do you see of an Iceberg? 

Well that's only the 10% of the actual. 

When we act without thinking it leads to many dangerous reactions such as blame, anxiety, complains, panic, anxiety, hurt etc. and that kill the positive attitude and builds negatively in us. Positive attitude is solution to all problems. We make mistakes, we all do and there is nothing wrong in it. But not learning and willing to change for better is negative attitude and what is worst is repeating your mistakes again and again. If we aim for growth in life it is very important to understand the need of positive change and continuous learning. 

When you find yourself in difficult situation in life, remember don't act without thinking and regret later, rather think, stop and Act. Don't take your life for granted, similarly don't take other's life for granted too. Respecting others and yourself is equally important. Positivity is the key to a beautiful life. Putting others down does not make you bigger and getting bullied is not right either. Accepting your mistakes and correcting them is the right thing to do. Stop looking at the negative side. Being positive or negative in life is a choice and no one can make that choice except you. Be Strong and be a fighter.

As I conclude remember:

Life is precious and beautiful.

No one is perfect.

We all make mistakes.

Learning is a continuous process.

Change for better.

Do not bully nor get bullied.

Think-----Stop------Act

Situations in life change.

Reasoning is an important skill.

Positive attitude is the key to beautiful life and solution to difficult situation.